Cochin Trip

The cochin trip was wonderful. I have to talk about some of the hilariously bad situations I found myself during the weekend.

1) Okay, I was here waiting for the bus to arrive 20 minutes before arrival time at the bus station. The bus comes 25 minutes late - so that makes 45 minutes with me standing patiently for the bus, with no sign or flutter of my bus.

2) Once in the bus I found some seats were not filled up. So I was in dreamland thinking I will be the only one in two seats dreaming I could sleep peacefully with all the leg stretches I could do. And wonder of wonders (why does it happen only to me???), another guy comes and sits next to me on the aisle seat. WTF was he doing when there are so many other seats around? I am not THAT cute(snicker!).

3)By midnight I inadvertently kicked the other guy in the shins while doing adjustments to my body posture- I was trying to find out the best posture to go to sleep, most of my friends know I cannnot sleep before it is atleast 2 in the morning or after. This guy gave me a look(no, not that kind of look - this was the more angry/irritated let-me-go-to-sleep look). So I gave him some more well-aimed kicks timed perfectly every 5 minutes. In twenty minutes flat and 4 kicks later he was gone hunting for another seat. (No I was not and am not ashamed for what I did. I deserved the extra space).

4) At Cochin I have two uncles living in houses quite nearby. So after much deliberation I decided to sleep over at my eldest uncle's home. Woke up at 7:30 to get ready for church and saw my aunt's sister standing by the doorway. So I say something like how are you and when did you come? Ans she gives me a look ( I got so many different looks from different people and not two were the same, I swear. This was the self-righteous-you-are-bad look). She started off about my long hair and reddish brown hair(yeah, I colored my hair atlast). Something about how God (Jesus) does not like long hair and how pathetically I have sinned and still sinning. Gimme a break! I don't think I deserved that and that too from a person I am not close enough with. It took me just 5 minutes to blow my top. I just walked off not bothering to even look for my shirt to my other uncle's house. (Yeah, I got more stares in the street - I walked through the streets, uncaring, without my shirt and wearing only a skimpy shorts).

5) Family lunch was supposed to be at the eldest uncle's house. I refused to go there saying I didn't care to sit in the room where this aunt was. In the end my Dad got pissed off and refused to go there for lunch too thinking I deserved better treatment from anybody, and rightly so. So Dad and I had a quiet dinner with ourselves as sole company for each other when everybody else was over THERE.

6) Monday. Almost got caught doing yoga when most unexpectedly my eldest uncle turned up at the shop where I was stealing a couple of yoga moves(cryptic yeah, you have to take some guesses). I think I escaped. Not sure yet.

7) Monday night. Checking my seat in the bus where my ticket was booked for my return journey. I knew that I was getting only a cabin seat where the spare driver sleeps. But I Goddamned did NOT know that I was going to share it with 10 other people who were as late as me to book tickets. I ended up travelling with 10 other people in this cramped place ( driver, spare driver, cleaner, myself and 7 other passengers). I was cramped, did not get to sleep and was generally clear wishing I was dead.

8) Tuesday. Came to work with hardly a wink the previous night and gave hell to all the people around me with my faint ramblings and all round blank witless statements.

Altogether it was a smashing great weekend. What do you say folks?

Hell is a bad place, hell is from here to eternity - Here to Eternity, Iron Maiden.